So...just how much greener IS your grass?

Ok married ladies. What is the deal?

In the last couple of days I have heard more women talking and have read more blog posts about the guy on this season of the Bachelor than I have about vampire movies, kanye west, and health care reform in the last year.
{alright, so maybe that was an exaggeration. But it's a close call!}

I have heard remarks like - "If I wasn't married." or "I just LOVE him!"
and I'm listening to married women gushing over the looks and words of a man that not only have they only seen about 45 minutes of, but one that I'm sure rehearsed his smooth lines over and over again before taping the show.

It's not that I don't appreciate the fun in watching a show or game and picking a favorite, and talking about it with all of your girlfriends, and all of that stuff...

but what is disheartening to me is the lack of respect that I think some of this talking shows for our husbands.

and from that thought, it took me to my next one.

Why is it that a fiance of a man and a wife of a man speak so differently these days?

You ask women who are engaged to their boyfriends what their boyfriends are like and they go on and on about all the wonderful qualities that he possesses. You ask a married woman about her husband, and she complains about his messiness, his laziness, or anything else that disappoints her.

Ladies, this should not be so.

What is it that leads a woman to stop defining a man by what he is and start defining him by what he is not? Marriage should not be the answer to that. If anything, marriage is the union that God gave to us to love and encourage one another. Just imagine for a moment that your husband was in the office with all of his male co-workers. And he tells them that today is your anniversary. And the guys ask : "So, what did you get her?" and your husband responds with :
"I'm giving her what she has given me the last 10 years ... a headache."

Wouldn't that hurt you just a little? Wouldn't that make you feel disrespected and unappreciated? Then why is it so easy for women to talk so bad about their husbands? Or maybe, not even talk as highly about their husbands, as they do the next bachelor?

{Remember girls, there IS a reason why he had to go on a television show to find love, he can't be that great.} ;)

So I suggest, when you find yourself complaining to others about your husband or talking very highly of a man that you have never even met - stop and say a little prayer.
And remember these things:

God has given you a gift. It is to be cherished and appreciated always.

You aren't perfect either. How would you feel if you knew your husband talked about your faults to others?

You were chosen by this man to be his wife. So he is obviously SMART. Am I right? And he is or will be the father of your children some day, so that makes him strong. And if he loves the Lord that makes him incredibly wise. And if he is devoted to you, that makes him beautiful beyond compare.

I'm sure that in the years you have been together he has said some pretty sweet things and they were probably pretty spontaneous. Not written in advance and rehearsed to recite on t.v.

AND you are the only woman he kisses and gives roses to.

{Not 25 (or however many) others!

Above everything else, love your husband in such a way that after you have left this life he can ask someone - "what did my wife used to say about me?" And they can tell him all of the ways that you held him up and admired him as a man and husband. Not all of his shortcomings or especially not - " Well, she never said anything. She was too busy talking about that guy on TV."

When we focus on how great our husbands are, it is amazing how much more we will find ourselves praising and thanking God for his blessings.
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  1. Amen!! you go, girl!!
    Wisdom and insight that is so simple, and real...but beyond your years! that kind of wisdom is from the Lord!! =]

  2. I know! I've read several comments like that about the new "bachelor" and I was so shocked! In my eyes that's almost cheating. Here are people who have promised to love one man but are saying that they could easily love another. I feel sorry for their husbands who are subjected to these comments. We need to respect our husband and our vows more.

    My husband is my best friend, and I thank God every day for blessing me with such a wonderful man. One of my New Year's resolutions is to show him that more every day. You and Adam are truly an inspiration in that way. The pure and deep love you have for each other is so obvious and encouraging to others. I'm writing a post right now that talks about that very thing. What a joy marriage can be! Thanks for sharing Theresa!

  3. After re-reading what I wrote, I realize I may have come across as that I think I'm "perfect." And I don't think that at all, there are things I need to work on too. I just wish that people wouldn't write statements like that because it is so degrading to the meaning of marriage. I'm sad that shows like this exist that make people think this way and make marriage seem like a game. That's all. :)

  4. i love this! you are so so right. and i have always thought that same thing - he can't be that great if he's going on tv to find love. i like your style, lady!

  5. I am not married, but this was a very inspiring post! Great thoughts! :)

  6. Nice thoughts Theresa :) Well put.

  7. I'm so glad to see someone pointing this out, Theresa. Bad-mouthing your husband is truly a step towards marital shipwreck, yet many women fall into it. I think you would enjoy a book written by my friends, Glen & Cindy Colley, it's called "You're Singing my Song." It has truly strengthened Doyle and me in our walk together. Here's a link: http://www.colleybooks.westhuntsville.org/PublishedWorks/works.html
    Truly enjoy reading your blog! Sarah B at Highland

  8. wow, i love this!! not married, not even in a relationship. but the feminist in me says YES! right on! marriage shouldn't change your definition of the relationship. marriage is what you make of it.

    also, to answer you question... sad but true, but i think that people start to take their partners for granted once they feel that things are 'forever', 'permanent', etc. that's why i'm not sure marriage is for me. i've definitely taken guys for granted in my past and i don't want to do that again [not that i was ever married]. i want to learn how to CHERISH more.

  9. First off- I love love love this post and I am so glad that someone as lovely as yourself posted all of this! I couldn't agree more!

    Secondly-stop by my blog and check out the little treat I have for you :)

    Lastly-Sorry I haven't commented sooner, but I am so thrilled about the positive news regarding your husband's health. Our God is SO good! Love, Cherish

  10. This is so beautiful. I will remember this post when someday -- God willing -- I am married. :) It saddens me that, in general, we don't guard each other's hearts much anymore. Thanks for sharing these thoughts!


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