Welcome To The World

Annelise Corinne 

Born on October 22, 2014

Fun With Our Woodland Friends

My (Not So) Perfect Life .... on Facebook

Last week I came across a blog post called The Facebook Effect.

It's about how women can be so unaware of and ungrateful for their own blessings, thinking that the grass is always greener because of the "perfect" lives that others show on display on social media sites. Specifically, Facebook. You should totally read it after you finish this post. You can find it here.

I loved everything about it. It is so true that we often accumulate feelings towards someone based on assumptions. Based on what we merely THINK their life is like. But we really don't know anyone's individual struggles. I also really liked the last part of the post. The author says:   

 "You see, Facebook is not the place to air your dirty laundry, and most people recognize that. Just because your Facebook friends only post about the "perfect" parts of their life, it doesn't mean that their lives are without imperfections. More than likely, they aren't trying to be misleading. It's just that Facebook is a public forum, and is not an appropriate place to share things of a private or more sensitive nature."

So this got me thinking. I always post about great days we have. Fun things we do. How blessed I am to have married my husband. How awesome my kid is. ;) Sure, I load my blog down with stories of exhaustion and struggles, and let's face it, the not so pretty days. But I reserve these stories for my blog because this is where I've chosen to do so. I know I don't have a ton of readers and most that do read are close friends and family, so I'm not sharing the more private side of my life with all of my facebook friends if I choose not to.

That brought me to the question: Do people think I'm pretending to have a "perfect life" on Facebook? I thought about it long and hard. Am I one of those people where others read about my marriage and roll their eyes, say GAG under their breath, and keep scrolling? Am I one of the people where others read about how much I love being a stay at home mom and on a hard day for them they say "yeah right! like it's that easy!" and get annoyed? 

I mean, we've all seen those funny Ecards that get posted all over the internet and one in particular I remember seeing was - " I hope your life is as PERFECT as you pretend it is on facebook!" .. always followed with comments from the posters like - "Exactly!" or "FOR REAL!" and you can read the bitterness right there in their words. 

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that .... well, if people feel that way, that's really not my problem. I'm going to post the sweet things my son does during the day. I'm going to post what an amazing family I have and how wonderful my husband is. And I'm going to post how much I LOVE being a stay at home mom. I'm going to post it, well, a lot. And there are people who are going to get tired of reading about it. Does it mean my life is perfect? Ha! Well, just take a minute to read my other adventures on this blog and you can see that I have my bad days too. But one thing I have learned as I have grown up and grown as a person is that you can either be jealous of other people's happiness and always try to compete with them and bring them down -or- you can rejoice in their successes, be happy when they have a great marriage and career and when they have fun with their children. Trying to bring others down doesn't bring you up ... making them look like a bad person doesn't magically make you look like a good one. Showing them in an ugly light doesn't make you look any more attractive. And making them feel rotten for their happiness doesn't make your life any better. In fact, all of these things do the exact opposite. As my grandfather used to say - "Blowing out another fella's candle doesn't make yours burn any brighter." Some of the most Godly people I know are those that love to see happiness in others, especially when they are facing trials of their own.

I'm reminded of a quote that says: "Most people do not see the world as it is. They see it as they are." So maybe if we assume that someone is writing something for the world to see, not just out of love and excitement but with different implications behind it, maybe we should ask ourselves ... do I feel this way about them because maybe that is what I DO?

And PDA. That's a whole other subject. I had a friend post a survey once about how people feel about public display of affection toward their loved ones on Facebook. His argument was that you don't have to post it for others to read if your spouse is in the next room. Just go tell them. And that the people who post those things must really have awful marriages and they are trying to mislead everyone into thinking they've got it so good. Though most people disagreed with that position, the ones who agreed were so bitter toward those that do post these things that it almost made me sad. I mean, by all means, if you don't want to wish your spouse a happy birthday and tell them that you love them on Facebook, then don't. But the way I see it is, I tell my husband all the time in private how thankful I am to have him and how much I love him. But as we all know, men need respect and honor from their wives. They need to feel adored and looked up to. What better way to show honor to your husband than to not only tell him in private what you appreciate, but to also let others know what a good man he is and how well he leads your home? Has anyone ever complained about a spouse bragging on them to others? It's always a good feeling to know that your husband or wife is proud enough of you or appreciates you enough that they risk the embarrassment (especially men, am I right?) of posting something mushy on the web. We live in a society now where it's cool to talk badly about your spouse. If you've ever watched Everybody Loves Raymond for more than five minutes, you see that the entire premise of the sitcom is to show what a screw up the husband is, and how annoyed the wife is by him. She bad mouths him to everyone, family, friends, and strangers. Instead, we should lift our spouses up to those around us. And unless we have our own insecurities and are jealous of the love and admiration that others display publicly, it shouldn't bother us when other people do this, even if it's not our thing. If the first thing we assume when reading that someone's husband brought them flowers or cooked them dinner is - they are just trying to act like their life is better than everyone else's - well, I would suggest we question the deeper meaning behind those bitter thoughts and feelings. Do we really just wish our spouse did those things for us? Does it make us mad that people brag on their spouse? And if so, why? Do we secretly wish our spouse bragged publicly on us?.... Does it mean their marriage is perfect? Of course not. (I mean, raise your hand if you have the perfect marriage! Let's see ... there's ...uh... oh, nope? No hands?) And assuming that people are only trying to put on a front by posting things that make them happy on social media sites would be just as wrong as assuming that the reason that those who DON'T post how much they love their spouse is because they don't. And assuming that if they aren't posting how happy they are, it's because they aren't.

Here's the thing. At the end of the day, the person who hurts is not the one who exaggerated how amazing their date night with their spouse was and how delicious their $200 meal and dessert overlooking the ocean was because they were still on a love and chocolate high when they posted it on Facebook. The only person who is hurting themselves, is the one sitting at home grumbling about so-in-so's posts and their "perfect life" with bitterness in their heart.   

So what conclusion have I made from all of this analyzing happiness on Facebook? Here goes:

There are SIX types of people when it comes to Facebook....

1. There are those who have perfect lives and they want you to know it on Facebook.

1. There are those who are going to post about joys way more than struggles on Facebook. Be happy for them. It's great that they have a good marriage, healthy children, a good job, etc. God has blessed them beyond measure and they want to share it. They don't believe their life is perfect and believe me, they aren't trying to persuade you that it is.

2. There are those who are happy for the people who post their successes and blessings on Facebook, but it's just not for them and they would rather keep those things to themselves. Totally understandable. 

3. There are those who post spiteful jokes about people's "perfect lives" and tell all of their friends how they can't stand hearing about so-in-so's new car and how funny their husband is, and how adorable their kid is. Pray for those people. They are more than likely unhappy with their own lives.

4. There are those people that just don't want to hear it! Ugh. Give them a break. They don't want to hear all about when your child gets first place at the track meet and your husband leaves you a cute surprise in your car. Come on. They would much rather just follow Paris Hilton on Twitter and hear about what she's wearing to dinner. Is that too much to ask? 

5. There are those who hate when other people post those "perfect" things on Facebook, and are totally unable to take a look within and see that while they are complaining about others, they are also posting how great their life is! And probably way more often than the people they complain about! Oops! 

6. There are those who are going to read this and say, you know what, maybe I could be a little less judgmental with those people. Good for them who share their joy with the world. They are proclaiming God's love and faithfulness with every mention of another prayer that has been answered. And why should it bother me? I'm blessed as well.

So which one of these people are you?

{photos from wehearit.com}

Finding Joy In The Chaos

Let's get real. Being a mom is hard.

It's screaming fits in public. It's teething for a year straight.
 It's catapulting pancake pieces across the kitchen. {Oh, your kids don't do that?}

It's everything I never imagined it would be. and... luckily, it's

EVERYTHING I NEVER IMAGINED IT WOULD BE.

Recently I was reminded of a quote about the "4 things you can never get back"

The STONE after it's thrown.

The WORD after it's said.

The OCCASION after it's missed.

and the TIME after it's gone.

I struggle with joyful times as a parent. What I mean is, I almost always
 ruin that amazing, breathtakingly beautiful moment with my child when he
 reaches a milestone or does something hilarious, or when he just runs up and
wraps his arms around my neck.

I enjoy it, I do.... for a moment. And then the realization sets in deeper that before
 I know it, he won't want to blow me these kisses anymore. He won't be small
 enough for me to scoop up and tickle, and some day, I will no longer be the most
 important woman in his life anymore. It's just reality. So instead of getting to
 stretch out these joyful times with laughter and big smiles on our faces, I turn
 into a pile of goo with tears streaming down my face and before I even know
 it, I'm gripping on to my kid like a leach repeating please don't grow up,
 please don't grow up over and over again.

Ugh. It's a pathetic sight. Believe me.

But moms, the thing we need to realize is, they ARE going to grow up.
There's nothing we can do about THAT.

What we CAN do something about, is finding so much joy in the everyday
 chaos so that we get the very most out of the time we are given with
 these precious little gifts.

If you would have asked me as a newlywed how I would feel about pancake
 pieces with syrup on my kitchen floor, I would have shuttered at the
 thought. Ha! Not in my immaculately kept home. {or so it was in some
parallel universe called my imagination} But I've found that as a mom, you just
 can't worry about those things. If you do, before you know it, you are running
 to grab a wet cloth all while scolding your child and drowning out the sound
 of his laughter and missing the big beautiful smile on his face. Do I mean
 not to teach him table manners? Well, of course not. If your child catapults
 food at every sitting, I'd say it's probably lesson time. But if this is a one time
thing and you can find it within yourself to play along for just a minute, I urge
 you to find the joy in it.

I use this as an example because it happened this morning. As I was teaching my
 son how to hold the spoon and put the pancake in his mouth, he grabbed a
 hold of the end of the spoon, pulled it down with all his might and let go -
 causing the pancake to rocket across the room. My eyes got big and my
 mouth opened wide and he started laughing the sweetest laugh I've ever
 heard in my life. My first reaction was to say "No, Connor!" in my annoyed
 tone and get up to grab the flying shrapnel off of the side of the cabinet.
But I remembered part of the quote I had heard days before - the things
 you can't get back ... and that moment, was something that I could
never be given again. 

-So I embraced it.-

I laughed and laughed with him. I took another piece of pancake and shot it
 over his head. He died laughing. He kicked his legs in his little highchair
 and snorted. Sure, I might have a mess to clean up later. I might have to
 make one more pancake so that he has enough to eat. And no, he will
 never remember that fun morning with Momma when we
 shot pancakes across the kitchen, ...

BUT I WILL.

Yesterday we had to run some errands at the mall for a wedding I am
 in this weekend. I was a little nervous about how the day would go because
 I knew it would take me some time to find all of the things I needed,
and though my son is probably the friendliest kid I've ever seen - saying
 'Hi' and waving to everyone we pass and even blowing kisses to complete
strangers - he is still only one, and he still gets tired and irritable. 

We just made the most of it. I tried to find joy in the chaos all day, despite
 how tiring and stressful and hectic it all was. Though I needed to pick up
 most of these things for adults, I vowed not to make the day just about
 me while I had "a child inconveniently tagging along". We played in the
 fire trucks and cars. We met the Easter Bunny. We took photos in the
 photo booth. We ate lunch together and shared a fruit cup.

I could have just run in on a mission, got what I needed, shushed my
child with every person we passed and headed back home. It probably
would have been easier. But instead, we made memories.

It wasn't anything special. It hardly took any effort. But it was one of the
best days of my life. I know that's going to sound odd to some. Especially
 those whose lives are so exciting and adventurous and magical and don't
 include snotty noses and green beans spit into your hand.

So my advice to every mother-to-be or momma whose baby is still little
and has yet to learn to walk and talk and get into literally
 everything they see ....

Is to take a deep breath. To find joy in every moment.

 It's going to be a lot of work. You're going to have to do more physical
 labor than you want. You're probably going to break a sweat more
 than you hoped. You'll have to repeat the same silly things or
annoying songs over and over again just for a half of a smile.
 It means taking a detour on your shopping trips to let your kids
 just be kids. It means cleaning your kitchen (and your entire
house for that matter) more than you expected. And moms,
we're going to HAVE to get off of the internet and our cell
 phones. We're going to have to get off of Pinterest, and
Facebook, and Twitter, and Instagram, and our email, and our text
 messages and all of the other things that distract us during the day
 when our kids aren't napping and we should
be playing with and teaching them.

We aren't guaranteed another child. I think about that every day.
 And we surely aren't guaranteed another day with our little one.
This is the only one we're certain of. So I suggest we make the most of it.
We embrace the mess. We find joy in the chaos.

We send our children into their futures, knowing they are valued and loved.

...and if that means I have to clean up a few pancakes ... bring it on.

Children are the living messages we send
to a time we will not see.  ~Neil Postman

If Our Life Had a Soundtrack...

 The night before Valentine's Day, I was downloading several songs to burn onto a cd to be part of my husband's "goody surprise" when he woke up the next morning. I entitled the CD "If Our Life Had A Soundtrack" (sappy, I know) and included songs that have been important parts of our lives - from the song he played on the guitar and sang to me on our first date, to songs in our wedding, to our son's favorite song to dance to in the living room.

As I was downloading this music and listening to the songs, it reminded me of how far we've come, what a good man he is, and how incredibly blessed I am to have him. So, since I haven't posted about how much I respect and admire my husband in quite some time (it's been all about the kiddo), I thought that maybe now - a couple of weeks before our 5 year Anniversary, would be as good a time as any.

When things feel hectic in our lives, busy, stressful, chaotic ... when I feel like I want be able to give more of myself, my time, and my energy to being the wife that I truly desire to be, I always have to stop for a second and come back to how I got here. Remembering those things always motivates me to push harder, make the time, and do little things for him to show him how much I love him. Too often, when a couple has children and things get busy and they have to devote so much time to the kids and their activities, a lot of marriages go up in flames because those two people forgot who they were, why they fell in love, and how blessed they are to have each other.

It's like when you are ready to move from the house you are living in. Remember that feeling when you were renting? All the little things that were "wrong" just overwhelmed you and consumed your thoughts. Maybe the refrigerator leaks, and you wished you could see the beautiful countryside out your back door, and maybe you have a couple of beetles that find their way in once a month or so .... and all you keep thinking to yourself is how much you want to move, and how you can't wait to get into another house. And then you do.

And this new house is not everything you expected it to be. Sure, you got rid of the "problems" you had before, but now you've got new ones. Probably worse ones. You traded a leaky fridge for a leaky shower. And a couple of beetles for brown recluse spiders, and you miss living in that quiet neighborhood where you once felt so safe. You couldn't wait to get out of there, but now you realize just how incredibly blessed you were to be in that house. All you can think to yourself is - I'd give anything to have that back again. It wasn't nearly as awful as I thought.

I think that is also how a lot of people view a failing marriage. When the going gets tough, they want to jump ship immediately. So maybe your husband leaves his dirty socks on the floor, or doesn't tell you you're pretty anymore like he used to, or won't lift a finger to help you ... whatever it is that keeps telling you in your head - "things would be so much better if I had just married someone that ______," don't be so quick to think the grass is always greener. It's not. Sometimes, you don't get grass, at all. Sometimes, you're stuck with dirt.

When you start to think of little quirks and things that bother you about your spouse, take a minute and reflect on the blessing he is to you. How hard he works for you. How sweet and kind he is to you. Remember why you fell in love in the first place. That is one thing that I think husbands and wives don't do enough. They don't want to have to dig back into that place in their brain where they have stored their memories. DIG. Once a month, if not more, remind yourself of how and why you fell in love and why you STAY in love with your spouse. Listening to old songs that you both love sure is a good reminder. A lot of women watch too many romance movies, or read too many romance novels. In those, the men that the women fall for are all smooth talking, hard working, best friend material, fun dads who always fight for the girl. Right?

Well, I'm willing to bet, if you take a closer look at your husband, he's all those things ... and more. And he's not on the big screen. He's right beside you. I'm lucky enough to watch those romance movies, look at my life and know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I've got that. In fact, I've got so much more. 

So here goes ... there are several reasons I am blessed to be married to my husband, but for now, I will stick with the Top Five that you might just see in the movies-


5. He knows all the right things to say

I don't mean he's a "schmoozer". His words don't come from a vain or empty place. He says what he means and he means what he says. But for this list, I'm not talking about his words to me. I'm talking about his words to God.

My husband prays the most beautiful prayers.

Always has.

It was one of the very first things that attracted me to him, and it is surely one of the things that continues to remind me how very blessed I am even after 5 years of marriage. There is an AW Tozer quote that says - "As a man prays, so he is." This is so true of my husband. His prayers are genuine, humble, thoughtful, and passionate. I rarely ever feel as deeply in love with him, as I do when we are holding hands and praying to God.

I don't need him to get up on some grandiose balcony and spit out all the things he loves about me. I can feel how much he loves me when he prays to God for my heart and soul.


4. He works so hard to support us.

It is such a blessing that I get to stay at home with our one year old son. Sometimes, I'm not quite sure how we make it work, but we do. I know my husband has a lot of pressure on him to make sure that I don't have to go back to work. His job gets really stressful and sometimes he has to work really late hours. I appreciate every moment he puts in for us. And as if it's not enough that he works extremely hard at his job, he is the type of man that comes home, gives our son a bath, cleans up the kitchen after I cook dinner, or helps with little things to make my life easier.

He could just get home and plop on the couch and tell me how hard his day at work is, but he doesn't. He sees taking care of our son and helping me with things around the house as a privilege and not a job. Having a husband like that also gives me perspective, that as worn out as I am at the end of the day, it is a privilege that I get to do things for him, take care of the house, do our laundry, cook his dinner, and take care of/teach our child all day. In other words, he is the type of man that makes being a woman, a stay at home wife and mother, so sweet.  I respect and adore him so much for allowing me to strive to be the wife and mother that I desire to be. I'm far from it, but he always makes me feel closer than I am.


3. He's my very best friend.

We've taken a couple of road trips in the last month. I love road trips. They always give me time to think about life. On one of them, I pulled out my phone and flipped to a website I had bookmarked called 30 Questions to Ask Your Spouse on a Road Trip. We had so much fun asking these questions to each other and answering them. I love that he tells me random Biblical facts while we are driving. I love that we play a game of compromise after he has listened to an hour of music and wants to listen to talk radio. And I love that I always win that game. ;) Music always wins, folks.

I love that he says something at least once a day that makes me laugh out loud. I love that he gets annoyed when something happening in a cartoon movie where the animals talk is "unrealistic". I love that he always brings me surprises home from the store if he stops to pick something up on the way home. And that his favorite part is watching my face when he shows me what he got.

I love that he loves to be silly with me. I love that he still wants to kiss me every time he sees me. I love that he has the worst memory in the world and tells me every time we pass something on the road what it is, like he's never told me before. I love that he always points out planes and squirrels.

And I love ... that I get to spend every day of my life with him.


2. He is such an amazing dad.

I knew he would be. I'm not surprised. One of my favorite times of the day is when he gets home from work. We hear the keys in the door, and he peeks around the corner for our son to see that he is home. The look of love and excitement on both of their faces as they walk toward each other is one of the most special things that a mother can see. I know that all day he is waiting for that moment.

There are two reasons I know that he is going to raise our son in the best way possible. One, because he is in the here and now. He takes time to read him stories. To play with him. To rock him in his lap when he is getting sleepy. He gets joy out of seeing our son reach milestones and try new things that he ends up loving. And two, because being the man he is, he will continue to be an example for him as he is growing up. To watch and see what a man of honesty and integrity looks like. A man of God. To see what it looks like for a husband to love his wife, deeply. What it means to forgive, to be compassionate, to be loyal. To work hard and provide for his family. To be consistently spiritual. I know that if our son grows up to be anything like his daddy, he will be a man with a heart of gold.

The best way to teach a child is by example.

1. He fought for me.

 Around this time of year, six years ago, I sat alone on my porch swing outside my quiet little house in the country. I watched the wind blow through the trees that surrounded me and felt the warm glow of the evening sun on my face before it disappeared below the line of trees in the distance.

I remember this day, because it was different than any other day in my life. It was the gentle tap of God's finger on the row of dominoes that started everything into motion. I got a phone call from a guy I barely knew and he was interested in getting to know me better.

It was a tricky situation.

To say I had "issues" might be the understatement of the century.  I had serious fear. Fear of losing anything that I cared deeply about. Because of that fear, I wanted to control everything in my life. Fear drove a lot of poor decisions I made in my twenties. It made me have trust issues. It made me unforgiving and over emotional. I had words inside my head that replayed every day of my life, and I was scared I'd never be able to get rid of them.

I wasn't worth loving.

I wasn't worth the hassle. I'll be the first to admit it.

And everyone told him to turn around and run ... and never look back. I told him to run, my best friends told him to run, his family told him to run, even my exes told him to run. We all warned him.  I was a destructive tornado that left nothing in my path. I held on so tight to all of the things I feared would slip through my hands, that I simply crushed them.

But one day, he sat me down and looked me in the eyes and told me - I understand what you're telling me, but I believe you're worth it.

He said that he could see past all the layers of hurt and shame and fear and all of the ugly stuff that I had wrapped myself up in, and he could see straight to the heart of me. And he wasn't going anywhere. He told me that one day, he was going to marry me. The real me. I could believe him, or not.  He was going to fight my demons. Carry my baggage. Strip apart my layers. Fix the parts of me that were broken. He would do whatever it took to make sure he had me as his wife for the rest of his life. As undeserving as I was. He never gave up on me.

That alone is enough to make me want to be the best wife in the world for him. And sometimes life does get busy, and we put our love on the "back burner" so to speak to take care of other things. But I hope he will read this and know, that even five years after saying I do, I still realize how incredibly blessed I am that he walked into my life and fell in love with my heart.

 I certainly fell in love with his.



Super C's First Birthday Party

This past weekend we threw a superhero birthday party for our son who will turn one tomorrow. I can't believe how fast time flies. Here are some pictures from the party. It was a blast! 

We love you, Super C! 

Her Story Told.

Theresa Carmella Mollise` Zorn

"Tess"

A memory that will linger in my mind forever, is that of my grandmother's voice saying "Hidey!" whenever we entered her home. She was always so happy to see us.

Driving home from the hospital on Saturday, I couldn't help but think of regrets. As we all do, when someone we love dies, we search our memory for things we might have left undone, unsaid, that we wish we could go back and change. Did we see this person as much as we would have liked before they left us? Did we get to say I love you and goodbye?

Fortunately for me, I got to do those things.

We lived through the woods from my grandmother. I guess that old song - Over the River and Through the Woods to Grandmother's House we go - would apply to me. She was always right there. It wouldn't be much of an exaggeration to say that I saw her every day for 18 years of my life. Not only was I named after her, but I was, as she used to say, the joy of her heart.

She was with us every Holiday. Every time I had a birthday, she was there. And every time she had one, we were with her. I have wonderful memories of hunting Easter eggs at her house, and Christmas mornings with her in our living room, playing with our toys. Every year we sang The Twelve Days of Christmas as a family, and every time it got to my grandmother, even though I think she always knew in the back of her mind what came next, she would always pretend like she had forgotten and say something absolutely silly like -" Seven ..... people ..... waving", just to make us all laugh. Those are precious memories that will never leave my heart.

No, I don't regret the time I spent with my grandmother. It was plentiful and meaningful.

And I don't regret how she left us. We were all gathered around her hospital bed, so she would not feel alone. Someone on each side holding her hand. I got to tell my grandmother that I loved her, and goodbye. I got to "rub noses" with her, which she always loved to do to me for as long as I can remember. At one point, when everyone left the room to speak with the doctor, I got very close to her face and sang Amazing Grace to her as I rubbed her hair. She couldn't respond, but I know she could hear me. And I held her hand, praying, as she took her final breath.

In that very moment I thought of a video that I watched just weeks prior. A video about the first breath we take when we are born, and the last one we take when we die. And the man in the video explains that the name of God in Hebrew is YHWH which we pronounce "Yahweh". This man says that these letters were more like the sound of breathing. And that every breath we take, we breathe the name of God. And I stood there with my grandmother as she breathed the name of God one last time before her soul could have some rest. This thought was so comforting.

No, I didn't have any regrets about how I got to say goodbye to my grandmother.

But as the drive seemed to carry on and on, I started to wonder about how well I knew Theresa Zorn. Not Theresa Zorn the grandmother, but Theresa Zorn the person.

That was my regret.

As children all we can see is the role that family members play in our lives. We don't quite understand that we are characters in their lives, as well. That they were someone long before we, their grandchildren, came along and even before their children. Then, when we become adults, life gets too "busy" to ask questions about the past and to listen to stories of people and places we have never known. I wished at that moment that I would have gotten to know my grandmother. To REALLY know her, .... what she loved, what made her happy. What gave her joy.

And then I realized....

I already knew.

" So I'll put my fingers in this soil upon her grave
And I will plant for her a garden
And every flower, a reminder of her face
Will grow up graceful as a pardon

And all that grows is her story told
As life unfolds here before us
The peace we've found in this broken ground 
I can see her in the harvest...of all that I have sown "