I imagined myself standing on a stage, with a huge audience. The spot light shining directly into my eyes so that I could not see any of the faces. They all looked like shadows. And I would dance to the most beautiful music I had ever heard.
I dreamed of traveling the world and becoming famous.
This is what I wanted my life to be.
Tonight, I walked around my neighborhood for the first time since we moved there almost 3 years ago.
It was getting late, so the sun was setting. The temperature was cool. Because this is July 4th weekend, many of the houses had American flags blowing out in front.
And as I walked by, I saw children playing in the sprinklers. I saw dads out mowing the lawn. And mothers watering their flowers in the front yard would smile and wave as I walked by. People were sitting out on porch swings, and I could hear the laughter of children as they played with their puppies or chased each other down on bicycles.
And as I came around the last corner of my neighborhood, and got close enough to see my house... I looked ahead and saw an empty spot in my yard.
And in that spot, I imagined me and Adam standing there, watching our children as they played in the sprinkler, smiling and laughing.
And as I got up to the front door, and walked over our door mat that reads Bless This Home, I thought of my dream of becoming a dancer.
You know, there are some people who have big plans for their lives. They want to tour the country, sign autographs, and be invited on talk shows. They want their name in lights and their star on the sidewalk in Hollywood.
They would never dream of living a life with a white picket fence. They don't want the boring Friday nights in the front yard. To have to cook dinner for their husband when he gets home from work. To go to bed early on Saturday night, so they can get up early and go to Church on Sunday morning. They won't have time to read their children bedtime stories, or bake a birthday cake with their kids. And they are ok with that life. Working. Autographs. Dinner Parties with all of the in crowd.
But as I walked back into my house tonight and shut the door behind me...
I remembered that empty space in my yard. Where my little family will one day play on a Friday night. And that will be the highlight of my week.
And I THANK MY GOD that I chose this life.