It has taken a while for me to get my "blog groove" back.
It seems that lately, I just haven't been inspired.
But today I am.
This morning I was reminded that today has been ten years since my best friend lost her brother. A lot of times it is only when we step back for a second and look at the lives of others, that we start to see how we are taking so many things for granted in our own lives.
Last night I watched something on television called "Break Through". It was about a couple, who on their wedding day, the groom jumped into a swimming pool and broke his neck. He immediately became a quadriplegic on the day that they were supposed to begin their "fairytale" life together. It broke my heart to watch the pain and sadness that they had to endure, but it was so inspiring to see the strength and love that they both had for each other.
So because of both of these things, I have been thinking a lot today. Just thinking about the important things in life and what I have been taking for granted.
So here is a confession I want to make:
I have found that I have a "when I get to that point" mentality.
You know ... "I should really be better at _________, but I will be, when I get to that point."
For example: "I should really start doing physical activities outside. Like tennis, or running. But I will, as soon as the temperature cools off."
What a cop out!
Or: "I should really spend more time with my friends and family. But I will, as soon as we live closer."
I'm completely sabotaging my life. I'm allowing that sand in my hour glass to just fall and fall and fall ... and I take for granted the fact that I'll get to flip it over again.
What if I don't get to flip it over again?
What if my sand runs out? ... What have I spent my days doing?
And why do I keep having to come back to this realization? Why when something tragic or life changing happens to us, we vow to never let life pass us by again, and yet a week or month later, we are right back into the routine and "busyness" of life, wondering where the time has gone?
Such is life, I guess, but it just doesn't sit well with me.
What will it take to motivate me to change? I don't want it to have to be the day that I find out that I have a terminal illness. And frankly, I don't want it to have to be after I have finally had children. I want it to be now.
And what about my purpose here? Am I bringing people to Christ? Am I showing them that Belief and Faith are action words? Sure, a skydiver "believes" in the parachute he is about to wear, but it does no good until he puts it on and trusts in it. Do people see that light in me?
Or do I care enough to shine it?
Oh how I get so disappointed in myself.
I settle for less. I take the road most traveled. I watch too much t.v. I don't pray enough. I take things and people for granted. I worry. I lose myself... Time and time again.
The funny thing is, I have a beautiful picture of an oak tree on my wall at work. I see it every day. And underneath it, it says this:
"Life is not a race - but indeed a journey. Be Honest. Work Hard. Be Choosy. Say "thank you", and "great job" to someone each day. Go to church, take time for prayer. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh. Let your handshake mean more than pen and paper. Love your life and what you've been given, it is not accidental ~ search for your purpose and do it as best you can. Dreaming does matter. It allows you to become that which you inspire to be. Laugh often. Appreciate the little things in life and enjoy them. Some of the best things really are free. Do not worry, less wrinkles are more becoming. Forgive, it frees the soul. Take time for yourself ~ Plan for longevity. Recognize the special people you've been blessed to know.
Live for today, enjoy the moment."
- Bonnie Mohr
And as I start to think about my friend and her brother, I think of all of the wonderful memories that she has of him. All of the times he showed her love and made her laugh. Everything he taught her about life and happiness. For her, it went in the blink of an eye.
And I am reminded of the quote -
"To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die."
So I'll start again tomorrow, living life to the fullest. And I'm sure in a week, or even a month, I will be having the same thoughts, blogging these same words, and that's ok. Because in the end we find out that it is not our destinations that we've come to or the dreams we have reached that shaped who we are and make life so amazing...
but all of the relationships we've made and love we've shared along the way.