I've learned a lot about love this year.
I've learned how forgiveness and mercy play the strongest role in your ability to love someone. I've learned that self sacrifice is essential.
And when it comes to love in a marriage, ... well .... I've learned about love in a way that I never was ready to accept in these last two and a half years of marriage.
My husband and I sometimes get into deep conversations. Most of the time we are silly and playful, but sometimes we pick each other's brains. I remember asking him once what it was that made him fall in love with me. And after he gave his answer, I asked him what it is about me that keeps him loving me. And his answer was - "I just do. I choose to."
Well. That was NOT good enough for me.
I wanted specifics. I wanted to feel flattered and know that something about me was keeping him around. The fact that he has chosen to love me didn't ignite any kind of flame in my soul like I had hoped for. And a little bummed out, I decided to accept his answer and move on.
Well, ok. Who am I kidding here? I didn't really accept it. I just moved on.
And the more I thought about it, the more it bugged me.
Was there nothing about me that he loved anymore like he did when he first met me?
I didn't understand what he meant. He chose to.
But it has hit me now.... I get it.
There is only one word to describe the kind of love that he has for me.
And really, how could I want it any other way? He doesn't love me based on what I have done, or what I will become. Not because of the things that interest me, or my level of intelligence. He loves me ... no matter what. No matter who I was. No matter what tomorrow holds. I can always rest assured that in an answer of "I choose to", I will get constant love with no conditions.
And you know what?
There are tons of reasons why I fell in love with my husband.
His love for God and how spiritually minded he is.
His always seeing the good in others and giving them the benefit of the doubt.
His willingness to help others.
His sense of humor.
His incredibly attractive humble and shy spirit.
But the reason why I love him now, after almost 3 years...
I choose to.