A Letter To My Son

Connor,

First you were a hope.

A beautiful dream that stayed in my mind and yet, I wasn't sure when you would bless our lives with your arrival.

Then you were a prayer. A prayer that came from the deepest part of our hearts. There wasn't a time that words to God left our lips that the heart of you wasn't on them. And God has always answered our prayers. It may not be our timing, or always the way we imagine it will be, but He always answers.

And then you were a heartbeat.

And I fell in love.

A tiny, perfect little heartbeat. And in a split second, the way I saw the world completely changed.

Now I can feel your tiny hands and tiny feet, and I've never been so physically close to someone and not been close enough. The day I lay my eyes on you, will be one of the greatest days of my life. And I'll hold them all ... hopes, and dreams, and prayers and LOVE all in my arms.

All at once.

We have the highest hopes for you.

That you will live a life with purpose and meaning and give more than you receive. That you will be a man of integrity, a man of character. Not because of what you possess, but because of how you love. I pray that you will be a man of God. That you will seek Him. And find Him.

And let your faith be more than a religion. But let it set fire to the world.

I pray that you won't have pain and heartache, as any mother would, but if you do, ... that you find the strength to endure it. That you come out stronger than you went in. That you learn what is most important in life. Because it isn't how far you get, or happy you are, but how you've made a difference in the lives of those who can never pay you back. So plant trees for others, trees whose shade you will never get to sit in.

I pray that you will someday find a woman who will love God so much more than she could ever love you. A woman who prayed many years for your heart, just like your dad and I did. And I hope that writing your vows before your wedding comes as easily as it did for us. And that keeping those vows is even easier.

And we pray that one day, when you are ready to have a family, ...

and that prayer to God for a child leaves your lips ...

that you might understand , at that exact moment,

how much we longed for you.

And when you hear that heartbeat for the first time, that you might finally be able to grasp, just how much I already loved you.

I believe with all of my heart that you will be

A sweet boy.

A good kid.

A GREAT MAN.

And I can't wait to watch you become him.

And when you are older and we are no longer here with you, I pray that you look back on your life with joy and contentment. That you left nothing on the table. That you gave your life to help and serve others, and in doing so, made a place for yourself among a King. I pray that everyone who knew you will have nothing but good things to say about you. And people will recall your kindness and selflessness when they are recalling the most crucial moments of their lives.

And that you will have no doubts, not one, about whether or not you just lived the life you were given,

or if you truly LIVED.

And if life doesn't turn out to be everything you expected, remember that we are still proud of you. But don't ever give up. Every morning brings new possibilities and God never stops giving second chances. Believe me, I know.

Life isn't always easy. And everyone makes mistakes. But mine was the first heart to ever love you, and I will always, ALWAYS be here for you.

And one last thing son,

If you end up being even half the man your dad is,

I think you'll be just fine.

Love Always,