Dear Future Daughter-In-Law,
I want you to know how often I have thought about you and prayed for you in the last few years. In fact, when your future husband was in my womb and I could feel his very first tiny movements, I began praying for the heart he would some day fall in love with. And as I sit here typing on my laptop, I watch him laying peacefully in his bed at nap time without a care in the world. So precious and full of light - with so much love in his heart to give someone some day. To give to you. And I'm looking so forward to meeting you.
You see, I love his precious little soul with all of my being. He is the very best part of me and my best buddy that I spend all of my days with, though his little sister could be here at any moment. I'm trying to document every funny thing he does, every beautiful smile he flashes, and keep those memories so that one day you can show my grandchildren what a personality their dad had at their age. So you can all see the adorable things he does - like when the sun goes behind a cloud how he yells "Mommy, the hot is gone!" Or how he sticks out his tongue and wiggles it to let me know he wants a popsicle. For now, I am the one who plants kisses all over his face and wipes away his tears when he is hurting. I know that in a blink of an eye, that job will no longer belong to me - but to you.
And I want to tell you, I love you so very much.
I don't know you yet, I know. But I know one thing ... if you love my son, I love you.
I've prayed that you grow up to be a woman who strives to bring Christ into her home in every way she can. Who opens her Bible and tries to understand the heart of God in the silence of her own home when nobody is watching and not just when others can see on Sunday mornings. A woman who loves taking her family to worship Him in spirit and in truth. I've prayed that you have a nurturing instinct so that you will be a good mommy to my grandchildren. Gentle enough that they long to be held by you, yet bold and passionate enough that they can look to you as someone that they can always count on to fight for what is right and speak up when something needs to be said. And I've prayed that you are the type of woman to stand by my son's side - strong and unafraid, when the world throws things at him and he is scared and confused.
But please know, if you aren't those things...
... Instead, if you are a mess of a Christian that doesn't have it all figured out yet, a woman who has no clue what she's doing when it comes to motherhood and has to buy every parenting book on the planet or is unable to have children, or even someone whose knees shake right along with my son's when he is afraid,
I STILL LOVE YOU.
I love you because you love my son.
And just know, you're probably going to get tired of me. I am well aware. Because as much as I love my children, I know I am going to adore my grandchildren and you are going to be receiving phone calls and text messages and many visits so that I can see their precious faces and hear their little voices and not miss the sweetest most beautiful moments of their lives. I hope you will forgive me and understand that I don't want to pry into your lives, only make the effort that it takes to be a part of them. I won't just be satisfied with every other holiday and an occasional birthday. Life is too short to look back and realize that I missed something I can never get back. So keep your phone close. I promise, I will make the effort.
There is no need to be afraid of me. I know the stigma that comes with in-laws and the resentment and the "nobody is good enough for my child" mentality. But I promise you, I won't have it. Not a single bit. I will love you like you are my own daughter. When I hug you, I will REALLY hug you - the kind where I'll hold you for a while and squeeze you tight, and you'll feel the sincerity of how much I love you.
And I won't mind, if helping me cook in the kitchen is not "your thing", or if you don't share my hobbies or if you don't just fall in love with some tacky piece of art I try to paint you or something I might try to sew. (I've never been too good at that). The important thing is that you have fun in the kitchen with my grandchildren, or learn to cook my son's favorite meal. That you share hobbies with him and you two become best friends and have fun together. Not if you hang my painting up on the wall, but that you frame little pieces of artwork that my grandchildren make you because you are proud of them.
I hope you are proud of them like I know my son will be proud of them. No conditions. Not just when they ace the test or show their potential in athletics. But when they don't do good on a test and muster up the courage to show you the grade and tell you they will try harder. Or when they sit on the bench during every soccer or baseball game they play because they aren't the big star you've always hoped they'd be, but they cheer on their friends and look at you in the stands and wave with huge smiles on their faces.
So when you show up, whenever that may be - and I see that look in his eyes that no mother can deny, I will rest assured that he made the right choice. Because all of the years I will be teaching him and he will be learning about God and what to look for in a wife and he will KNOW that what he sees inside of you is exactly what he has been waiting for. And when I watch you walk down the isle to join hands with this precious little boy I now watch sleeping, if my eyes are filled with tears, know that they are filled with tears of joy - because God brought you into our lives.
So I will pray for you today and every day from today.
And my daughter
-in-law, I LOVE you. Because you love my son.