I am a lot like my mother. And I assume that when she was thinking about having a daughter and raising her, just like me she probably hoped and prayed to give her the world. I am certain that I will never be the mother that I want to be someday to my daughter, I will never teach her enough, love her enough, give her enough. But I would be lying if I said that I don't know what it looks like to promise someone the world and follow through.
Because my mother did.
Because my mother did.
A Letter to My Mother
Mama,
From that first moment that I raised my tiny head in that hospital room and looked at you, there has been a connection that I can not describe. And every day since, I have looked up to you, more and more and in different ways. I don't think that a girl ever realizes just how much her mother loves her, until she becomes a woman and dreams of having a daughter of her own. With all that you have gone without to give me, I can only imagine how much you must love me. You have sacrificed more for me than I could ever thank you for, or ever repay.
All of the good inside of me, Mom, it comes from you.
There is no doubt that I am just like you. And I am so proud to have your spirit, your passion, your independence, and even your ankles. :) Because there is no other woman on the face of this earth that I would rather be like. You should be proud. You have succeeded. If when I was in the womb you dreamed of giving me the world, well you did. And if you dreamed of loving me so much that I would one day not even be able to describe it, well you have. And if you wanted me to be proud of you Mom, ... I am.
I have never in my life known someone with as much strength and dedication as you. You are constantly giving of yourself to others until you have nothing left. You never worry about yourself because you are far too busy worrying about everyone else. What other people would call -bending over backwards for people, is just a normal day for you. There has never been one moment in my life, not one, where I needed you and you weren't right there by my side. You never cease to amaze me. And I know that without a doubt, I have learned what kind of woman I want to be, by watching you. You have taught me so much. Sometimes you taught me in words, sometimes in lessons. Sometimes, without even speaking a word, I have learned how to love...from you.
We have a connection that I am certain most mothers and daughters do not have. I get the privilege of not only having you as a mom, but as a friend. And some of my favorite conversations are with you. Somehow you always understand me and you always know, even when I don't say it... you always know. I am so proud of what you have made our family. So many things I love are because of memories that you created. I never hear a Gary Morris or Elvis song without thinking of you. And I think that part of me was sad in Graceland because you weren't there to experience it with me. I never dye an Easter egg without thinking of you, or "cross the Brazos at Waco" without thinking of you. I never play Jeopardy, or eat a lemon, do a crossword puzzle, or say my prayers... without thinking of you.
I am proud of what you have accomplished in the life that you were given. You have worked hard to get to where you are now, respected by so many, and nothing has ever been handed to you. You are always the best at what you do and I have faith in you that no matter what life throws your way, you will always walk through it with your head held high, with such grace and dignity. You always have.
You have taken such good care of us. I have never had anything broken that you couldn't fix, anything hurting that you couldn't heal. I have heard that is just what mothers do, but that is not true. Not all mothers give with their whole heart. Not like you.
Mom, you mean so much to me. And I wish that I could give you something to show you how much I love you. But what do you give to someone, ...
who has already given you the world?
From that first moment that I raised my tiny head in that hospital room and looked at you, there has been a connection that I can not describe. And every day since, I have looked up to you, more and more and in different ways. I don't think that a girl ever realizes just how much her mother loves her, until she becomes a woman and dreams of having a daughter of her own. With all that you have gone without to give me, I can only imagine how much you must love me. You have sacrificed more for me than I could ever thank you for, or ever repay.
All of the good inside of me, Mom, it comes from you.
There is no doubt that I am just like you. And I am so proud to have your spirit, your passion, your independence, and even your ankles. :) Because there is no other woman on the face of this earth that I would rather be like. You should be proud. You have succeeded. If when I was in the womb you dreamed of giving me the world, well you did. And if you dreamed of loving me so much that I would one day not even be able to describe it, well you have. And if you wanted me to be proud of you Mom, ... I am.
I have never in my life known someone with as much strength and dedication as you. You are constantly giving of yourself to others until you have nothing left. You never worry about yourself because you are far too busy worrying about everyone else. What other people would call -bending over backwards for people, is just a normal day for you. There has never been one moment in my life, not one, where I needed you and you weren't right there by my side. You never cease to amaze me. And I know that without a doubt, I have learned what kind of woman I want to be, by watching you. You have taught me so much. Sometimes you taught me in words, sometimes in lessons. Sometimes, without even speaking a word, I have learned how to love...from you.
We have a connection that I am certain most mothers and daughters do not have. I get the privilege of not only having you as a mom, but as a friend. And some of my favorite conversations are with you. Somehow you always understand me and you always know, even when I don't say it... you always know. I am so proud of what you have made our family. So many things I love are because of memories that you created. I never hear a Gary Morris or Elvis song without thinking of you. And I think that part of me was sad in Graceland because you weren't there to experience it with me. I never dye an Easter egg without thinking of you, or "cross the Brazos at Waco" without thinking of you. I never play Jeopardy, or eat a lemon, do a crossword puzzle, or say my prayers... without thinking of you.
I am proud of what you have accomplished in the life that you were given. You have worked hard to get to where you are now, respected by so many, and nothing has ever been handed to you. You are always the best at what you do and I have faith in you that no matter what life throws your way, you will always walk through it with your head held high, with such grace and dignity. You always have.
You have taken such good care of us. I have never had anything broken that you couldn't fix, anything hurting that you couldn't heal. I have heard that is just what mothers do, but that is not true. Not all mothers give with their whole heart. Not like you.
Mom, you mean so much to me. And I wish that I could give you something to show you how much I love you. But what do you give to someone, ...
who has already given you the world?
I love you with all my heart,
Wow. This is the same way my mother is. I am incredibly touched by your thoughts on your mother.
ReplyDelete"I have never had anything broken that you couldn't fix, anything hurting that you couldn't heal...Not all mothers give with their whole heart. Not like you."
My mom always has. Even if I didn't know it at the time.
Precious. There is nobody like your mama!
ReplyDelete