Beneath It All

Physical strength is measured by what we can carry; spiritual by what we can bear.
~Author Unknown

Treatment: Day 9

It still seems so surreal to me.

That we are here. That Adam is having to go through this.

We haven't heard back about the body scan yet. I knew that we would not hear anything before the Holiday, so we are expecting the news either tomorrow or the next day. I think I have prepared myself so much now, for the news that he is cancer free, that I almost can't imagine how it will feel if that is not the case. I don't want him to have to go through another treatment. I don't want him to have to miss Christmas with his family, or the birth of our new "nephew", Brady Kyle Vann, in December. I'm ready to know that he is healthy again.

It is kind of ironic. Although we really haven't gotten to spend a lot of time "together" during this treatment, we really have. Just me and Adam. The rest of the world has just kind of faded away. It has been really nice. It is definitely something positive that I can take from all of this.
Beneath all of the anxiety, fear and heartache, our love has persevered.

On Friday night we watched our wedding video for the first time in about a year. It was so great to go back and see how we felt on that day, and then realize how much stronger that feeling has gotten. My favorite part is when we read our written vows to each other. And it was just so nice to remember, that through all of this, we have each other.
In sickness and in health.

Here are the words that Adam and I wrote for each other on our wedding day, I thought that I would share them with all of you who could not make it to our beautiful ceremony, and have highlighted the words that I find appropriate for this hard time in our lives:

Adam's Vows -

I Adam, choose you Theresa as my best friend, my love for life.
I glorify and thank my God for you Theresa: for the beauty of your devotion to the Lord and your servant heart. I know that you are a gift from Him.
Today I rise to the challenge of being the spiritual leader of our home. I take the responsibility to be accountable to God for the direction of our walk together with Him. As our lives are woven together like the strands of a chord, he will be the unseen strand that holds us together. It is my prayer, as our hearts are drawn closer to Him through the years, that we in turn will draw closer to each other.
I will always love you, be committed to you, and support you.
Through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future, I will be faithful to you.
I will give you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care. I will respect your unique talents and abilities, and will lend you strength for all of your dreams.
I will be here for ever and always. From this day forward, you will not walk alone. My heart will be your shelter and my arms will be your home. As I have given you my hand to hold, I give you my life to keep.
These things I give to you today and all the days of our lives.

My Vows-

I Theresa, choose you Adam to be my husband, my partner in life, and my one true love.

I could not be more proud of who you are and the man that I know you will become.
Every single ounce of pain that I have ever felt in my life,... you are worth every bit of it. I will try my very best to help bring you closer to Christ, I already see so much of Him in you. I will try every day to be the Christian woman that you so greatly deserve, and to be worthy of your precious heart.I will always be honest with you, kind, patient, and forgiving.

I will help ease any of our challenges, but through them I know that we will only grow stronger. I came to this place today, as a woman standing alone. And I will leave from it by your side. And that is where I will stay for the rest of my life.

I will encourage and inspire you. Laugh with you, and comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I will love you when our love is simple and when it is an effort. From this day forward, I will always be faithful to you, respect you, and cherish you.

I will trust you with my very life and will always hold you in the highest regard.

These things I give to you today and all the days of our lives.

I'm sorry for so many sappy posts in a row, really I am. I would say that I don't know what's gotten into me lately, but that would be a lie. Sometimes in life, you get dealt a hand that you really never expected or wanted. And all of the disappointment starts to set in. But then, because of this mountain that you now have to climb, you see everything differently. All of the struggle feels like a blessing. And all you can see anymore is how great your love is.

Record breaking love.

And sometimes, that's all you've ever wanted.

"I am no one special. Just a common man with common thoughts. I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but in one respect I've succeeded as gloriously as anyone who ever lived. I've loved another with all my heart and soul and for me that has always been enough."