For so long, things have been perfect. You know, the temperature is great, the sunshine on your face. You couldn't ask for anything better. And most days, because you are so used to seeing the sunshine and feeling the warm breeze, you find yourself taking it for granted. Yesterday was beautiful, today was beautiful, ... tomorrow will be too.
And maybe some of us are pretty prepared for when the clouds start to move in. I know I was. I felt the sprinkles on my head and I didn't panic. One by one they hit me. Big ones. Little ones. Maybe the first one was a common cold. Not a problem! And the second, the second was an extra bill that we had to pay, the third was a trip for my job, then a little lump that Adam feels in his neck. These are all tiny sprinkles that I can handle without an umbrella.
Who me? No, I won't melt.
Before I know it, these drops will stop and the sun will be out again.
But it always works the same.
The next thing you know the sprinkles aren't sprinkles anymore.
The next thing you know the sprinkles aren't sprinkles anymore.
And when it rains, it pours.
I can tell you one thing,
I wasn't prepared this time.
I listen to the sound of huge water drops beating on the top of my only hope of sanctuary. They sound as if they get larger and larger and fall faster and harder.
The surgery.
The doctor visits.
Falling behind at work.
A friend has a miscarriage.
My husband's car breaks down for the 3rd time.
MAKE IT STOP!
But it doesn't. It continues to fall.
It seems like it takes only a few minutes to forget what the sun even felt like on your face, or the last time that you've seen it. Your shoes? They're wet from all the puddles. Each one you try to step over but you never quite make it.
Some are shallow but very long.
The refrigerator is leaking again.
You caught a volunteer on a bad day.
You didn't get invited to that get together.
Those are mostly puddles made from the drops that hit your umbrella and roll off of your back.
That's what they do.
They roll off your back.
Oh but some, some puddles are deep and very hard to get over.
The diagnosis of Cancer.
A broken friendship that you just can't seem to mend.
Not knowing how you will pay your medical bills.
Listening to a friend who thinks her marriage is over.
And finally you grow so tired of leaping and dodging them all,
you just decide to sit down in them.
But that's what makes it so sweet.
You know, that day that you wake up and take a deep breath. You realize that you aren't going to see the sun. Not today. And you're ok with it. You cuddle up closer to the man of your dreams and watch him as he's sleeping. You think about how strong he is. And what an example he is for those with no hope. You get out of bed and walk into the kitchen for breakfast. Open the refrigerator door to a big block of ice that is leaking out of the bottom and under your feet.
And you laugh.
You turn to the counter to find two envelopes there. In one, is a card from a friend with love and selflessness inside. "Let me know if you need anything" written at the bottom. The other is a card from a volunteer and her church congregation,
she got the entire Bible Class to sign it with get well wishes. And that makes you think about what all your church congregation has done for you.
And you smile.
You finish breakfast and grab your keys and phone to head outside. But your phone rings. And it is your dad calling to let you know that they want to bring the extra car from the house for you to borrow until your husband gets a new one. Someone beeps in, and you switch to the sound of the sweetest voice, your best friend calling to tell you about the baby boy that you will meet in only a couple of weeks.
And you start to cry.
Prepared for whatever lies outside that front door, you grab the door handle and open it with confidence. Prepared for rain.
And that is when you see it.
Beautiful Snow.
Just like today.
You write so well, you touch me so much.
ReplyDeleteThat was so beautiful Theresa. thank you for sharing
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. A beautiful post, and you're a beautiful person.
ReplyDelete