Pretty Little Lies: Life Will Be Better When I'm Skinny

Malarkey.

But you know what? This is one lie that us women tend to believe, isn't it?

Our lives and thoughts get consumed with dieting and exercising, not to be healthy, but to be skinny. Why?

Because we seem to think that we can't live life to the fullest or for some reason we will be more valuable, have more fun, or feel more love if we are skinnier.

It's just not true.

A lot of times, this lie can confuse us because we know that self-esteem is the key and yet we aren't certain that we can even have a good self esteem if we are not skinnier than we are right now. And I'm not just talking about really overweight people. This problem is spreading like wild fire to all sizes of women. Size 14's want to be size 10's. Size 10's want to be size 6's. Size 6's want to be size 2's. And size 2's? Well, they want to be invisible. We are never satisfied because we search for some kind of fulfillment in a jean size.

So tell me, what do you expect to happen when you fit into your size 2's?

Is prince charming going to magically knock on your door? Are you going to get that promotion you have been wanting at work? Are your friends going to all of a sudden be drawn to you and want to hang out 24/7 because you are the coolest chick around?

Well, no. Probably not.

In fact, more than likely just the opposite will happen. You see, you will more than likely be so wrapped up in losing weight and eating like a bird that your prince charming will turn the other way. Most guys like the girls that are secure in themselves the way they are. Happy with who they are and aren't afraid to have fun at the fair and eat cotton candy or a turkey leg while getting sick on the tilt-a-whirl. Besides, guys like the feminine curves of a woman. They are what make us a woman. Well, ok, so not ALL that make us a woman, but you know what I'm getting at. Does Marilyn Monroe ring a bell? Come on ladies, she wasn't a toothpick. And the guys that only fall for the smaller chicks? Well, they are shallow anyway. Next please.

Your job? You are likely not to get that big promotion because your focus won't be where it needs to be. You will be more worried with counting calories than counting clients and running off to get to the gym instead of staying late to finish up that important project.

And your friends?.....come on. Who are we kidding here? Your true friends might be excited for you and feel motivated to follow in your footsteps. But we are women. Here are a few words that come to mind when I think about women in general ... Drama. Cat fights. Gossip. and yes, the dreaded J word.

Jealousy.

None of your friends who are struggling with their weight and self image are going to want to buddy up to you when you are constantly discussing your work out routine, your protein shakes, your lunch consisting of an apple and tomato, and your experience in the juniors section at Macys. That is going to annoy them. Again, I'm not talking about wanting to be healthy and be a good size for your height. Those are things friends tend to be supportive of. I'm talking about your never ending journey to look like Kelli Ripa so that you can wear your 14 year old daughter's blinged out pajama jeans. Get ready for lonesomeville.

So my point?

Make a goal to be healthy. But find your value in the intellectual, emotional, spiritual part of who you are. Not the physical. Life doesn't get better just because you lost 20 lbs. Trust me. It usually tends to get better because when you lose that 20 lbs, you feel better about yourself because you think you are more likeable. Then, you start to smile more, are kinder to strangers, and seem to have a more positive outlook on life. You attract people. See how that works? Because of how you feel. Because it was right there deep down in your heart anyway, just waiting to come out. Not because of how you look.

I'm not going to tell you that eating healthy and moderate exercise aren't going to do a lot of things for you. Because they will. They will boost your immune system, give you more energy, keep you from getting certain types of cancers, and even help keep your skin and hair healthy. Stuff like that. So those things are good for you, without a doubt. But don't make that the primary focus of who you are. Don't let your size determine your happiness. Let your worth lie in more than just your jean size.

"Be more than just the sum of your parts." -Flipped

After all, nobody's tombstone is going to read : Here Lies Sally. She wasn't too great of a mother or grandmother. Never really there when her friends needed her. But she had a smokin' body.

Or at least, let's hope not.