Almost exactly a year ago, I wrote a blog post about someday having a baby. It was called "Let my soul light up." Unsure if we would be able to conceive a child because of the treatment Adam had to take for his cancer, my heart was filled with dreams of this child and prayers to God.
"It is almost the New Year, and I could not be more excited and overjoyed for this year to begin. We've got big, BIG plans.
Now, I know. Sometimes our plans don't always fall in line with what God has planned for us. And maybe I am getting all excited too early ... but I can't help myself.
I remember the exact moment, almost 7 years ago, when I decided that I just could not wait to have a family...
... So in case you haven't guessed, I've got the fever BAD.
But it is not just the fever this time. It is a longing in my soul to create a life. To hold a tiny child up against me and have them look into my eyes. To feel a love like I have never felt before.
I can't even type that without getting tears in my eyes. I'm such a baby.
I've honestly never wanted anything so badly in my life. I know it will change my world. But it is finally the right time in our lives to have that joy around us, those hugs, those smiles, ... and know that they are a part of us.
So I ask for your thoughts and prayers going into this next year. Adam has to have his yearly scan to make sure that the cancer has not returned this month, and that could have a dramatic impact on our plans. We want him healthy, and me healthy, before we start our family.
But my heart is so ready. I'm ready to pray for a child that has not yet been formed. And sing to a child that is still in my womb. And rock a child that has yet to speak. And play with a child that has yet to take steps. And dance with a child that has never had a pain that their mama couldn't kiss and make better....
Yep, I'm ready for the first moment I see their precious little face,
And I let my soul light up. "
And here we are, a year and 8 days later after writing this post and I could not be happier. I can't remember what life was like before I had this precious little boy with me. There is definitely a light in my heart and soul and it is brighter than I ever expected it to be. And as the New Year rolls around again this year, my resolutions will come and go. The excitement of new adventures and a "new beginning" will soon fade and we will get back to the busy life that we always knew.
But this year will be different. I will feel more love than I have ever felt in my life.
And one thing that I'm certain will not fade ...
Is the Afterglow.