Let's Play Catch Up ...

My husband brought it to my attention the other night that I haven't been a very faithful blogger since I had our son. And he's right. When I was expecting, I made it a point to blog every two weeks about what was going on, feelings I experienced, and funny things that were happening. I also included a picture.

So now, why not continue updating all of you on how my sweet boy is learning and growing and show you pictures of how adorable he is?! I often forget that posting pictures on Facebook of him doesn't do any of my blog followers that aren't on facebook any good. So this post will be for catch up purposes only.

First, let me just say ... being a mother is the greatest thing in the world. I really wish I could better articulate the magnitude of becoming a mother for young women who have yet to experience this. Everyone thinks they know just how amazing it is going to be, and then they are completely... well, pleasantly surprised, I think. At least, I know I was. From the moment that I knew I was carrying a growing person inside of me, it was the most beautiful, extraordinary experience I could have ever imagined. And for those who are still kind of soul searching, have yet to feel their worth or are trying to find value in themselves through other things, I wish they could know what is coming. Because I've been the career woman, putting all of my focus and energy into that, and I've been the person who finds inspiration and passion in art and music and literature, I totally get all of that, I do. But becoming a mother is the single greatest role that I could ever take on in my lifetime.

The first part of this post might be a little boring to those of you who could not care less about the hair and weight of a growing baby. So feel free to skip on down...  

 The first month of Connor's life was such a joy. We were slowly getting to know each other. His personality really hadn't shown itself yet, but he was getting used to our home and his new family. He was so very tiny. Looking back now, it is hard to believe that he was ever under 8 lbs. Within the first month of his life, he began smiling. I fell in love with that smile immediately and only love it more every day that I see it.

The nights where I was able to rock Connor to sleep were some of the most precious. And skin to skin time is just so sweet and special, I am so glad that we took the time to do that bonding with him. He loved it, and Adam and I loved it as well.

Month two was very busy for all of us. We had Christmas and New Years' travels all within a couple of weeks and it totally threw Connor off of his routine. It was great seeing family though and getting to see everyone in mine and Adam's family interacting with him. He is so loved. A little more of his personality started to shine through at the end of 2 months, and we began really getting to play with him with little toys. But mostly, he was like any other baby. Eat, poop, sleep. :)
During month 2 I started realizing that morning was definitely Connor's favorite time of the day. He always woke up in such a sweet mood and always gave me this biggest smile when I walked into his room. Lucky for us, around the 2nd month, he started sleeping through the night. I mean .. ALL THE WAY THROUGH. Some nights he would get 8-10 hours of sleep. Which was really good for Momma. Unfortunately, he didn't do it for long, like everyone warned me of. Now, he is waking up, but only once a night on our best nights. 

Month 3 was full of milestones. He was smiling more, (and we discovered an adorable dimple) and he even rolled over once. (Which turned out to be a total fluke, because he didn't do it again for another 2 months.) He did start a little babbling though and "laughing" which was more of a squeal at the time. Real laughing comes later. This was the time when I really started to notice that his hair was growing at a rapid pace and he was probably not going to lose it, like most babies do. He also started getting incredibly chunky.

During month 3, Connor started reaching and putting both hands on the sides of our faces. Sometimes he would pull me in close and give me sugars, and sometimes he would just study my face. It was the sweetest.

Month 4 we started experimenting with solid foods like cereal and applesauce. It was a busy month, filled with seeing family, going to a friends' wedding, and St. Pattys Day. Connor could finally stand on his own and hold his weight. His laugh turned into more of a giggle and his smile was contagious. Everywhere we went, people would tell me what a beautiful baby he was and how sweet his smile was. By the end of month 4 he was in the 90th percentile for babies his age with weight and height. He weighed 16 lbs and was 25 inches long.

At the end of month four, he really started discovering his mouth. And that turned out to mean a bunch of spit baths for me and Adam. He likes to blow bubbles and he thinks he is so funny when he gets it all in your face. He also started to get really ticklish during this month.

Every month has just been sweeter and sweeter than the last. Month 5 was really when I felt like his little personality completely formed and let me just say, he is going to be one funny kid! He loves to make us laugh and will do anything to do it. He is also such a cute little faker! He fake coughs, and does this funny thing where he opens his mouth and makes it look like he is cracking up, but nothing comes out. He also started getting to where he would push his toys off of the high chair tray when I wasn't looking. Sometimes I would turn around toward him and he had the funniest look on his face and his toy elephant would be right up to the edge before he would give it a little shove and a smile. That little stinker.

This was also the month when he started rolling everywhere and actually putting his arms around my neck when I carry him. Which, is my favorite! It is so precious to feel that hug. During this month his hair started getting extremely long and curly and more and more people started asking me how old "SHE" was. Ha! That doesn't bother me too much, because I know it just means that he has a  beautiful face. By the end of month 5 Connor was weighing a good 18-19 lbs.

We are now in the middle of month 6. And as you can see from the picture, Connor has started thinning out a little more and is still as tall as ever! I have a feeling he is going to be tall like his daddy and uncle Taylor. He has started shaking his rattle and he loves playing the little piano that belonged to me when I was a child. Last night, for the first time, he actually pulled his legs up and got on his hands and knees when laying on his stomach so crawling seems to be right around the corner!!

I love so many things about him. He is "talking" so much and I know I have heard him say Momma once or twice, but I don't count it since I can never get him to say it twice in a row. When we go for a ride in his stroller, he puts his arm up on the side and leans back just like he is "cruising". He is so funny. He has gotten to where he will wave back at you if you wave at him and his hair just keeps getting crazier and crazier so I see a trim in our near future. (I think I might cry!)

I love this phase of his life and I feel so incredibly blessed to be able to be at home with him every day to experience all of these firsts. I wouldn't trade this time for anything in the world.

Just a couple of weeks ago, we decided to move closer to Adam's job so that we could save a little gas money. So we found ourselves a cute little house that we now call home. I absolutely love it and I know that we are going to have some wonderful memories here.

Here are a few pictures:

{our backyard at sunset}

{the front porch}

{the kitchen is huge!} 

{can you spot my "pinterest" ideas??} :)

{Connor's room , not yet finished}

{Our little family}

Becoming a mother has completely changed my life. It's amazing how your priorities and views of the world change when you have a child. And you just come to terms with the fact that you are probably always going to be leaving the house with a little spit up on your shoulder, a little applesauce in your hair, and there will always be that moment on a date night when you pull in to your destination, start to brainstorm if you are going to get the baby out of the car seat or just take it all inside, and then tear up a little when you turn around and realize he isn't even with you. I know that these days are some of the most special days of my life and I try so hard to remember those precious moments as they happen.

... But our memory is a strange thing.

It stores the moments, pieces of ourselves ... of our story, that we never want to lose. And isn't it weird how we can't seem to remember important days in our lives, as much as we would like to, - for example- the day I graduated from College, but I can hear a song and remember the exact place that I was standing or sitting and the exact feeling I had in the pit of my stomach the first time I ever heard it?

It's strange.

I've come to the realization that one of my greatest fears is forgetting.

It terrifies me.

I don't want to forget voices of people I love, or important words spoken to me, but most of all, I don't want to forget the feelings I had during different stages of my life. Especially this one. I think that is why I take so many pictures of our life. Because I am not trying to capture what it looks like, I'm trying to capture what it feels like.

Recently, I have caught myself taking it all in ... on purpose. Like when I am holding Connor, and he does that thing where he reaches up and puts both hands on either side of my face. Comes in close until our faces are touching.

I intentionally stop that moment.
I breathe slower. I make my eyes memorize everything. His eyelashes. The color of his skin. I lift my head up and put my nose on his hair to breathe in the smell of his shampoo. And I say to myself ...

Don't forget this moment. Whatever you do. Please, don't forget this moment.

It's going to be gone in the blink of an eye. Some day before I can even begin to truly realize the blessing I have, he will be too big to hold. His hands won't fit on my cheeks the way they do now.

And I just can't let myself forget what this feels like.

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