I did it all the time before I became a mother.
I can still hear those words ringing in my head. "I will NEVER be one of those moms....".
Yep. I said it.
And boy did I mean it.
And boy did I mean it.
I will never be one of those moms whose kid has on a dirty outfit when they go out in public.
I will never be one of those moms whose baby doesn't have on any socks when it is 50 degrees outside.
I will never be one of those moms whose child throws a screaming fit in the grocery store.
and yes, even this one -
I will NEVER, EVER be one of those moms who gets on Facebook and Pinterest and Blogs after I have a baby.
After all, I am supposed to be spending every waking moment with my child, right?
Well, let me just take this opportunity right now to publicly apologize to ANY and EVERY mother I have ever judged. My statements now seem quite ... comical.
And for those of you who are beating yourself up for things not going the perfect way you've always planned after you have a child, I'm here to tell you, IT'S OK.
IT'S OK that your child has on a dirty outfit. People are going to judge you. But they don't know that they left the house in a clean and cute outfit, only to spit up on it on the way to the store leaving you completely clueless because their car seat is turned backwards and apparently nobody in America can make a mirror to fit your seats so that you can see them. It is now dried, and there you are scrambling to get in the store while licking the only burp cloth you brought with you (filled with today's regurgitation) and scrubbing it like a mad woman to get it clean before you get to the entrance.
IT'S OK that your baby doesn't have on any socks. People are going to judge you. But they don't know that your baby is incredibly hot natured and just came in from sitting in a hot car seat that you tried your very best to keep cool by blasting your air conditioning all the way there and giving yourself frost bite.
IT'S OK that you are now that mom whose kid is throwing the crying screaming fit at the check out in the grocery store while you are completely frazzled, with 15 people in line behind you because none of the other bazillion lanes are open, while you juggle all of your items from the cart to the counter, smiling nervously, trying to dig for another pacifier in your diaper bag - other than the one you accidentally let fall on the ground earlier- all while sweating and running your fingers through your hair wondering "how long has this applesauce been in here?" People are going to judge you, but really, IT'S OK. They have no idea that you are just trying to pick up a few items along with your baby's medicine for his ear infection which is causing him to cry, on top of the fact that he's hungry because you just spent an extra hour in the doctors office that you didn't plan on.
And sure. You will be judged as soon as someone sees a post on facebook, a pin on pinterest, or a post on blogger. They will think - "don't they have a 4 month old baby to tend to?? Where do they get this time?" But it's OK.
They don't know that you are at home with your baby 24 hours a day talking in the most high pitched voice to ever be heard, making the silliest faces that you vowed you would never be caught dead making, listening to kids songs over and over that make you want to pull your hair out, all while constantly lifting a kid that weighs as much as kids 3 times his age, playing with toys that make music and beeping and buzzing and rattling sounds, switching from tummy time to on the knees, reading stories and going for walks in strollers, blowing raspberries on their tummies and dancing around looking absolutely ridiculous only to make them laugh... UNTIL you finally put them down for a nap... look around at your clean laundry, your picked up house, and your meat thawing for dinner and think - I'm going to grab some pretzels and a coke and get on ... ahh... pinterest.
Or in my case now, I'm going to rant in an unbelievably long blog post.
Or when your husband gets home from work and wants to get on the floor and play with them and you take a great shot that you want to post on facebook. It's ok that you took the time to do those things.
You see, it's true. Like the article floating around everywhere in social media this week says - Your kids want YOU.
But they don't want the cranky and stressed you. They don't want the frazzled and frustrated you.
They want the creative you. The inspired you. The motivated you.
And if that means taking the time when they are napping, playing with daddy, or whatever doesn't interfere with time you would be spending with them, and finding some inspiration, then I say go for it. Let everyone judge you.
Only you, God, and ultimately your child know how good of a mom you are. Nobody keeps a record of the times you sang them the Fruits of the Spirit song, took them outside and taught them about caterpillars and butterflies, or flew them around like an airplane while your back was killing you. Nope. No records of how much they've learned about music or colors, or how loved they feel. All that the judgemental and cynical people will remember is that dirty outfit, those sockless feet, that screaming fit, and that crazy long blog post. Poor neglected baby.
And that's OK.
Because what other people think never really mattered much to mothers and their children anyway.
So be "one of those moms", and be ok with it. The kind that laughs while your kid squeals in a silent crowded restaurant. The kind that still thinks your baby is the most beautiful thing you've ever laid eyes on ... even with spit up on their onesie. The kind that takes time for themselves ... to find their inspiration and creativity to bring back to the day's activities. To pass on to your kids.
Be the kind of mom who raises a child to laugh and play and love and find beauty in everything, and that makes people wonder - How in the world did his mom have enough time to raise such an amazing kid?
P.s. This post was written while my child took a nap. Don't judge me. :-)